I am confident that I for one, am happy to see the end of the year. It has been an interesting year fraught with heartache, pain and periods of sadness, coupled with lots of joy. There has been a re-awakening of sorts for me with regards to my hopes, dreams and desires. With the prospect of a new year it provides an opportunity to turn a new life page and start again, in so many ways and hopefully more interesting and rewarding ways.
It was said to me the other day it is also a time to make new resolutions. I have never been one to follow resolutions. I find I get into a quiet space on the 31st of December, open up my word folder and go into goals and then sit there and plan the way I want and imagine the following year to be, then tend to look at that folder a year or two later and say what the ? Where did those thoughts and feelings go? Resolutions for me have in times past proven to be a shocker. However, the idea and feelings of being, or having something, new as part of your life are nonetheless powerful and emotive tools. So this year I will only have one main, and one sub goal, and that is to live more powerfully! - and in that space, make the plans, hopes and dreams I have longed for over the longest time, bear real fruit. Well, there it is. I have put it out there for all to see, judge and or ridicule. But for me it is a powerful reminder that there will be people who will be wanting and hoping I get there aswell. I hope that for those who visit this blog, you will even emotionally hold me to my goals.
It has been a year that I can look back on with some degree of surprise and say, why the hell did I do that or say certain things, and yet be honoured and happy that I was a part of so many other things. My faults and flaws are never far away from my consciousness, but in all, I have had a good year this year and look forward with open arms to the new year to being a better me in 2008 than I was in 2007.
Have a good New year celebration everyone, and remember, please keep safe and in closing let me quote in the immortal words of the former boxing champion Jeff Fenech, "I Loves youse all!!!"
goodbye 2007...and 2008, Welcome!
Boxing Day-the way it was for me at least....
Christmas day.....I started cooking early in the morning after my 1 hour brisk walk, apart from a couple of die hard exercisers like myself, the roads were empty and had no-one else walking, jogging or cycling. I cooked hash browns, sausages, bacon, pineapple, grilled tomato, rice and croissants for 6 people. It was nice to do. I came home and watched a couple of movies and then at lunch went out to meet my Mum, her daughter, my step sister, her husband and a cousin. It had been decided that to make it easier for the cooks in the family that we would allow a Christmas day off for them also, which would allow us to go to a suburban club for a full buffet lunch. What a complete mistake that was. It was a series of lines, which I hate, a line to get in, a line for entrees, for mains and for dessert. The mains line I was in for almost an hour before I got a mains. NEVER again. It would not have been so bad if the food was great, but alas I should have known. I ate the bare minimum and was happy I did. The reason for this complaint does not stem from the cost of the meal, it does not stem from the desire to offend anyone or be critical of the food, though it was found wanting in my opinion - found wanting in the healthy options of food choices. I say this because I have worked hard to lose 23 kg over the last several months and the choices whilst plentiful were found wanting. It was an experience I do not wish to repeat again, because I felt the organisational set-up was a shambles. Rightly or wrongly. Next time I choose a Christmas day buffet, I will choose a hotel like the Sebel or Ramada, not because it costs more and not because some of you think I am posh, but because it seats less people, it is better organised, I do not have to line up to get in and to get every plate or dish and there is bigger spaces between the chairs for seating, THAT is why I made this comment.
NB.(I have altered the name of the club and added some words in this post for clarity, as people have obviously taken one little thing about the comparitively poor service I saw, and created a class struggle out of something that was never there...strange that nobody spoke or commented on the sadness and hurt I feel for those who lost their lives {down lower in this post} no-one thought to comment on anything else here like the connection and humanity I felt from the film Noel either. It only reinforces to me that Simon and Garfunkel were correct and their meaning still stands today. "a Man still hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest"....even if it provides a clearer picture of the person, their intent or motives.) If people don't like my comments, if people don't like my motives or people don't like my intent, don't visit here! it's that simple. If you don't like what a TV station is showing...change the channel! Get a life! this is my blog and I use this as a vehicle to express what I feel, and the second anonymous comment of the reactions posted in the comments section leave me scratching my head and asking the question; what the? Clearly anonymous 2, you did not read the note on the picture of the food you commented on. It was NOT from the aforementioned suburban club, it was from a wedding reception I took a few weeks earlier at a very affordable place. And as for offending lots of people, life is not a journey devoid of offence, but just remember that YOU took offence where none was given or even slightly inferred. You totally did not understand the intent from my heart, and therefore you took offence because it is simpler for you to do that rather than rationally try to understand where I was coming from. I do not mind that you posted a negative comment, I mind that you posted a comment and passed judgement on me without wanting to understand me.
There used to be a caterer I would always buy Christmas dinner from. I could pick up roast lamb, roast chicken and ham, together with caterers trays of pasta salad, potato salad, fruit salad and macaroni. I used his facility which was very reasonable. You ordered in November and paid in advance then he gave you a three hour window on Christmas day to collect your food fresh and it was scrumptious. He sold the business a year or so ago and the new owners don't offer that service, which I miss.
After that it was a series of movies which I gladly vegged out to watch. One of the films I again watched was written and driected by Chaz Palminteri called simply Noel. He even played a bit part in the film as well. It is a great Christmas and a great 'life' affirming film. It is a film about the things that unite us all. I commend it to you if you are in the mood to feel the things that connect us all. I slept at around 8pm and woke up today at 5:30am. Almost 10 hours sleep! I feel much better for it.
After a series of car headaches and costly adjustments over the last few days, I was greeted by yet another mishap, someone on Christmas eve had thrown a rock at my windscreen and smashed the window in the corner. So tomorrow I have to try and see if I can get that injected instead of getting it replaced. Another $500 would not suit me at all presently. Oh well, there are people much worse off than me. My thoughts were with the parents of the little girl in Perth whose daughter was playing in the car and had fallen asleep and in the extreme heat expired. No charges have or will be laid it was said and my heart goes out to them. Not only for this, but for every Christmas of their lives will it be forever tainted with sadness. I have a brother who is a policeman there in Perth and his call centre got the call. It is a sad, sad situation. Then there is also the case when a man playing cricket with his family was interupted by a group of teenagers who picked up his cricket bat and hit him over the head, killing the father almost instantly. There was also a 15 month old child who drowned in a backyard swimming pool in Kenthurst. The death toll nationally on the roads went to 17 as well tonight. Christmas for many families will never be the same.
Well, that's me today. I have been able to get a number of tasks done and am in the middle of quite a few other things I have to do over the next few days and wanted to take a moment to say how I spent Christmas and Boxing days. Love being around my little bloke Denzel, he is a great kid. He is a comedian!
As a former newsreader Brian Henderson from channel TCN 9 in Sydney used to sign off from the news each night, he would simply say; The way it is, wednesday boxing day 2007, goodnight......
Twas the night or two B4 Christmas!
I was initially going on a blog holiday departure from making any comments before Christmas, owing to the message I left in the last post and believing it to be a fitting lead up to the visit of Santa. Yesterday however, I was in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney, to photograph a wedding and found the cool conditions and the recent rains of last week made a particular impact upon me. I was basking in the colour, texture and feeling of nature, as much as I could in the role of being a working photographer employed to cover a wedding. I was in the shallow end of the cascades in Leura and was amazed and gratified to be amidst such a beautiful spectacle of nature.
Then from Leura we proceeded to go to the Kings Tablelands where I took another picture or three and was again struck by the simple grandeur this place has for me, inspite of my many prior visits. I took this panoramic you see and will get one enlarged and framed I liked it so much. 
What you don't see is that the wind was so powerfully strong it pushed me back from the edge of the cliff. One of the guests took a picture of me from behind on the edge of the cliff and it was so exhilarating. OK, it is not like skydiving or flying but the wind was near, or at, gale force conditions and was amazing to feel. 
As the day drew to a close, I was driving near Westmead hospital as the Ambulance helicopter landed and rushed a patient into Triage at the emergency department of the hospital and wondered who the guy was I saw being stretchered out, what had happened? and what a terrible time of the year to have something happen in the first place.....but on reflection, is there ever really a good time for accidents to occur. It looked serious. 
My heart goes out to whomever that was. Please be careful out there this Christmas/ New Year everyone. God Bless.
Happy Christmas
To all who have stopped by my blog since its inception, and to all who have posted, I thank you and hope that you all have a Happy Christmas. Try and remember its nice to be important, but its important to be nice. Have a really wonderful season. Thanks again everyone.
Cheers!
Fame: A fickle food on a shifting plate
One of my colleagues yesterday was asking about my appearances in times past on Foxtel's TVSN, which is a 24 hour a day home shopping network here in Australia. I looked at some of the pictures taken of me with some of the presenters and got quite nostalgic and thought I would post a couple here. I appeared on TVSN promoting Samsung cameras, tripods and printer docks etc. I appeared some 40 times over a period of 12 months. I loved it because I was doing something different that took me into a different arena to what is or was the norm. The only claim to fame I had as a result of my appearances was when I was in a Gloria Jeans coffee shop buying a hot chocolate one day when a lady in front of me turned and said "You are the Samsung man!" I couldn't help feel as I smiled, that there is so much more to me than that!. No doubt some of you will think it self indulgent to put these pictures here, but it was a fun thing to do, and you just never know...it may not be my last time to be on TV - in fact I also appeared on a game show called Burgo's catch phrase as well, that was a bit of a lark and I walked away with prizes totalling $1500 !!!"
Dragon Live
As my previous post indicated, I saw Dragon live over a series of three concerts last week. They were a very big Australian band at one time and though sadly the former lead singer Marc Hunter is no longer with us, the band is still very good. The music is tight and the overall sound is exceptional. I have come to know and respect the musical talents and people that Todd, Mark, Bruce and Peter are. The album they are releasing soon is called "Remembers" and their concert first set was a series of songs sung in tribute to prominent Australian singers who are no longer with us. It was a fitting tribute and brilliantly executed. The last set was all Dragon, and though the rich tones and warmth of Marc Hunters voice are gone, Mark Williams and the band carried off the songs with as much dexterity and energy as I could remember of them previously.
I thought I would share a couple of shots I created of the band together with some live shots taken at the gigs. The lighting was terrible but for a small intimate venue it is almost par for the course. You will also see their new Album cover which I photographed. Though the graphic artist they used posterised my photo, it was still me who took it!!
is anyone there who cares?
The other night I was driving back from a series of music gigs with the Australian rock band, Dragon, when in the wee hours of the morning I stopped at the red lights. I looked accross the road and saw a guy, around 30-40 years old, crying and putting his head in his hands then watched him start sobbing. I became curious to see if he was ok. I yelled out, "You OK mate". He didn't look up so I drove on. I haven't been able to get the images of him sobbing in the gutter of the road at Cronulla, out of my mind all week. I have thought often about what had caused him to feel that way, how his life was or is, and then what could he have needed, what could I have done. I was reminded of Phil Collins' song Another Day in Paradise,and wondered if it is easier to walk by and not look back, easier to pretend that we didn't notice in the foolish notion that if I ignore them everything in my world will be OK.
I submit however that we need to be reminded about just how good a life we, for the most part in the west generally lead. Even today, I was sitting in a park having lunch in the hectic hustle and rush Sydney city is at present and could not help but feel that there are many people who need us, they may come disguised as hobos or down and outers but the fact remains that the distance between us and them is very small. I am trying to find a way to reach out this Christmas without insulting or doing anything that would cause offence. I just want to find a way to help someone, even if only one person can feel that there are people who care it can make a difference. If I gathered a pipe dream together and added generous helpings of Christmas spirit, and believed each of us was able to reach out to one person, what a world this could become.! Powerful stuff. I start with me.
what a week!
What a week! we have seen a change in Government, we have seen them already make some decisive moves for accountability, we have seen another mall shooting in the US, we have seen some gaffs from Tony "the man" Mundine say some nasty things about Cathy Freeman, then recount what was said. We have seen some slight movements in international affairs, we have seen a few Christmas decorations appear in some shops. Christmas spirit is nothing here like it is in some countries I have visited. It really is diiferent, and not in a bad way. I was chatting to a fellow photographer, whom I value dearly yesterday, who protested on the phone that the Christmas carol music I could hear on the phone in the background was not hers...it took me a second to wonder why, but she is a Jehovah's Witness, and a devout member and it obviously appears, that they do not celebrate Christmas. I respect the differences and beliefs of others and say this not as a criticism but to highlight just one of the differences that occured this week.
I have been thinking of lots of different people this week. It continues to amaze me how we interact one with another. True it is that no man is an island. We require, if not downright need, the interaction of other people in our lives. It was said to me once that life would be easier living on a desert island. I conclude quietly, I would be poorer for that to happen. I love the interaction of others in my life. I would be lonely and sad without that social and mental stimulation. Having said that though, I am very comfortable with my own company. I still enjoy being alone in the house....which doesn't happen often at all these days, but on an evening when I am, I pull down the blinds, turn off the lights and pump up the volume on some of my favourite music and grab a hair brush and pretend I am on a stage in the ruins of the acropolis or on the stage at Wembley singing. I am not a fan per se of Karaoke, but I just enjoy the ability to pretend. I think that is one of the things that keeps me young again. I haven't stood in the rain over the last tempestuous few days, I feel poorer for not doing so.
I have been a little strung out of late. Not entirely sure why. I know there are a few contributing factors, but I sense more importantly that I have grown, and I guess that is why possibly the term indicates that with growth comes pain. They don't call them growing pains for nothing right? I heard a song again the other day in my itunes folder. The singer made a statement in the song that said;
The more I know, the less I understand
all the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter
and I think it's about forgiveness........
maybe that forgiveness even extends to myself at different times. Am about to go and photograph a big wedding now and it is outdoors and so I am hoping the heaven's withold their bounty for a few hours more! am I asking for a miracle?...I guess so. The picture was taken by me a couple of years ago under a 747 400B plane, and I was really proud of this shot.
Humming in My Universe today....
The other night I was in a forum listening to some dairy farmers talk about the trials and struggles they are facing on the land at present. The effects of the drought have brought some to their financial knees. The drought has as an obvious effect, no moisture and hence no grass can grow. They are forced to order feed to be brought in to their properties.
The added cost in this exercise continues to cost some thousands of dollars in having this happen. A farmer from the Riverina district of NSW said that he is paying $1200 a day for feed and grain and the money he is making from the sale of his milk at current market price may suggest he will lose overall by March 2008 some $150,000. His beef obviously, is that he is paying money to lose $150,000 cannot continue. Others who are not in as strong as a position are facing generational ruin. Imagine the additional burden hanging over you of having the prospect of losing the family farm with which you have been entrusted from your parents and grandparents. My heart went out to these people. It was an education for me.
We hear on the news the trials these people face and think yeah, yeah, but when you see the anger, the passion, the despair and the faint shred of hope these people have about what they do, about the contribution they make as primary producers for this country which was given birth in a real sense to the farmers and their produce of this great land, it is hard not to be moved.
Similarly I have been involved in doing the artwork for an egg carton that has spanned some months. The egg carton artwork is printed in China because of its cheap cost, and then exported here and filled with the best eggs the world has to offer.(Does that sound like an ad?) The egg producers, which have literally hundreds of millions, tied up in their plants, which are extremely hygienic and automated to ensure the highest standards for the eggs we buy, are also facing a massive problem. The drought has caused the cost of their feed for the chickens to increase some 3 times over the last 18 months, and when your costs increase so much, the natural consequence you would think will / would be that the price of eggs rises? At present the cost hasn’t moved. Nobody wants a price rise on eggs, then after what I have said about milk, then vegetables and fruit, then the cycle and circle widens. The costs are blowing out, and with no increase what happens? We either continue to pay more for the same things, or pay the same amount and get less in the container. We have the chocolate biscuit Tim Tams, packets of chips / crisps as an example to start with. In the case of the eggs, I can tell you what happens in one particular instance, the carton size changes from 12 eggs down to 10! How do I know? I have just done or assisted in the artwork. Admittedly each egg is a massive 70 grams and so is better than most cartons but one of the off shoots is the saying of whether something is the same as 1 1/2 dozen or the other almost becomes redundant in relation to the humble egg anyway. I love eggs!!! especially with runny yolks which I believe is known widely as "over easy".
In such little ways we are seeing life change. I remember living once when I was young in front of a bakery called Fielders Bakery in Parramatta / Harris Park. Every morning I arose to the smell of really fresh and warm bread. Mum would every other morning send me to the bakery at the back to buy a loaf of bread and I would always look for a girl or a particular guy who would always give me 1 or two free buns, fresh and warm.Yummo. I loved just sniffing the bread it was heaven. Sometimes I would not even make it home with them. I normally loved firm butter (not margarine crap) spread onto the bun and I would watch the butter be absorbed and then eat the bread with a mug of warm milk and Milo. Just great memories. The cost of a loaf of bread was $0.50 that’s right. 50 cents. Today some 20+ years later it has tripled. Not too bad I guess but I have been feeling of late to stop and freeze the moment. In my mind’s eye I call it a camera and I snap a shot in my memory. I sometimes do so at the most illogical places. I have been known to stop at the lights in my car and gaze on the ground of concrete and see a small but determined plant growing defiantly through the cracks and I will look and say to myself, enjoy this moment, you may never see it again.
I do that with people, with situations and the simplest moments. I try at the end of the day to rewind and play back some of those moments I froze in my mind earlier in the day. I think it makes me grateful for who I am, grateful that I have the chance to live, grateful for the chance to appreciate the life that slips past me often without fanfare or event. It is my personal active protest that I will not sit idly by and miss the moments without absorbing as many as I can before they pass me by.
I again was reminded today of how some of the things I do and some of the standard conversations I have discussed with people have come back to bite me in the ass. I chatted with a former colleague a few weeks ago about the job, I can’t remember much of what I said, but he applied meaning to it and went and sought some sort of political or strategic gain with his former employer and then caused people within that organisation to add their bit to the overall Chinese whisper and then conclude things about me which I believe were unfounded. I was told of the situation this morning, by a man I respect, and it has strangely drained me today. Part of me wants to react, to confront the person, perhaps get angry, and perhaps seek retribution, but why? The only one who loses is me….again. If I choose to listen to all of the negative comments that has been said, and will be said over my life, I might as well give up the game now. But alas I won't.
But what I do is analyse what has been said. Look to see if there is any truth about what they said. If there is, I make the appropriate course corrections and move on. Otherwise, I move on regardless. I couldn’t do real politics with the storms and times that invariably come to politicians of all persuasions when it might seem the whole world is gunning for you, and like dogs to the slaughter the opponents won’t give up. Certainly my predicament is not the same, but I am so drained by it nonetheless today. A friend has a blog called Humming in my Universe, and I would like to borrow that title today for this post. I think it is appropriate. But rather than continue to bottle up inside from the actions of this person or incident and their narrow mindedness, I will not cease to be me and be afraid to get hurt because I say what I feel. What power do I hand the faceless commentators in my life when I change the very essence of who I am to avoid getting hurt...again. I loved the song I hope you Dance that said;
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
get your fill but never lose that hunger
may you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid he ever leave's you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
and when you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you Dance.....
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
never settle for the path of least resistence
living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
when you come close to selling out reconsider
give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance
and I am trying to, every day I live. It is my wish for you also.
My heart and concern this evening goes lovingly out to the many people in stress be it financial, emotional or situational. My problems diminish, and my pains on a number of fronts dissipate when I come to know of others and their stories. I so admire Spielberg for creating a Holocaust survivor archive. I would like to be wealthy enough not to have to worry about the day-to-day survival and bills etc, and start creating a Nationally available video and sound archive of people in this country who make up all the aspects of the society I live in. What a record that would be. I would love to do that. Everyone has a story to tell. Admittedly some are more interesting than others, but I would love to record them. It might also help me jam several lifetimes of experience into one.
My last point in this long post is about a man called Charles Buckton. This was a wonderful man. He died a few years ago, and I had the privilege one day to spend some time with him as he taught a young girl about gardening. I just watched and photographed him and in between the teaching moments he shared things about his life, the struggles he faced in the war, struggles he faced after it and the passion with which he loved this country and anyone who made a contribution to life. I learned a great deal of life that day watching it from a postdoctoral graduate of life.
It’s a long post today. Life is changing don’t let it pass you by without looking at a sunset, a sunrise, a friend, a flower, a child’s face, an animals glance and realise this moment will soon be gone.
Carpe Diem
Right here, Right now...
I have noted that a couple of friends have commented to me that I don’t seem my effervescent self of late. I assure everyone I am OK. I have been working so very hard to try and bring some of my financial goals to fruition via the medium of choice, my photography. I guess when I look at many of my friends around me, and the things that they have achieved like houses, cars and anything else you might care to mention I fall significantly short. One of my friends now earns almost $500K a year, and make no mistake, I am in NO way jealous of that or of him, not in the slightest, in fact I am genuinely proud for his achievement. I just yearn for me to achieve a greater level of success. Not by comparrison, but by realising my particular dreams. I have stated the poem from Robert Frost previously but do so again for illustration. “Two roads converged in a wood, I took the one less travelled by and it has made all the difference.”
I certainly have taken the road less travelled by, and there are times like now when I know clearly why!!! I haven’t been much interested in pleasing other people, though I am very happy when things I do, or have been a part of, please others and give people pleasure and joy. I have sought an inner journey to find and become the person I most wanted to be and that has been a struggle. A struggle from the perspective that I know that my skill level is at the right place to earn a good living from what I do, it is just getting into the space that allows me to realise that hope. Someone said to me a few days ago, I am surprised you haven’t given up your job ages ago and just did this full time. It would seem easy on the surface, but then there are bills and then there are so many factors like people who rely on me for the necessities of life and struggling even more has not been something I have wanted previously. I guess too, that I have always felt comfortable and proud of what I do, but only in the last 12 –15 months do I now feel the complete confidence in my own abilities to now make the transition. Hence my frustration increases somewhat that it isn’t happening right now! The struggle however takes me to places mentally and physically I might otherwise have never known. I get to meet people from all walks and persuasions of life that enrich my soul and give me hope and perspective. I again note how much of my thoughts and actions now generally come from a period of varying times of great reflection. Other than when I am photographing where the essence then is to “shoot first”, then sort it out and digest it all later.
I love watching people and I have become a student of observing human behaviour. I find it fascinating and constantly challenging. Whilst in the Philippines in 1984 I was with an American guy in a house where we were visiting. A relative of the family we were visiting objected strongly to our visit and started running into the small house through the one and only entrance and exit from the house with a machete (a large long knife) as he did so, he was calling us cowards for not coming out to fight him, the American I was with wanted to run out and give him what for and tell the guy he wasn’t a coward, he is an American citizen etc etc, I stood there thinking is this American guy for real? I do respect this man and we still keep in contact, but at that moment I was so focussed on what we could or I could do to diffuse the growing situation. The guy was slashing at plants trees and shrubs and wanting to harm us in a very direct way. He then made a dash to the front door entrance – there was no door. It was a small Nipa style hut, then his sister the wife of the householder whose small home we were in stood defiantly and gracefully in front of him as his raised arm with the knife yelled at her to get out of the way, she said simply, they are my guests leave now. It was an amazing moment in my life to witness. I do not think it melodramatic to suggest that this little woman one Mrs. Trinidad, saved our lives. This guy was enraged at the presence of what he thought were two American’s in his part of the world. He was heavily intoxicated and yet this defiant little woman calmed him and he departed, albeit angrily and maliciously. I noted that after this incident that caused all 6 of us in the small house to tremble the American colleague Rodney, was still saying I am not a coward, as I now reflect on the moment I can’t help feel to say what the? I think it is important to note I can see everything in my minds eye in perfect detail still, after 23 years almost to the day. I have never trembled so much in my life. My legs were shaking and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Yet my mind was totally active and alert. I constantly was aware and thinking if he does this we should do this. But alas it was averted. As we left this home in southern Leyte, we were greeted by the Barangay captain (neighbourhood watch commander), who profusely apologised for the event occurring, which had stirred up the small neighbourhood. As we left the house many, many people stared and smiled at us. It was a great and terrible day.
Since then I have been keenly aware of peoples behaviour, I can sense things, perceptions if you will, when something isn’t right, if I shouldn’t go down a certain road or whatever. I am grateful for such feelings. It is like a radar comes on and instantly feels protective of anyone I am with or near as to what do I do, how do I act etc. 
On a different note, yet still on Human relations generally, I had a post here one time called lost in translation, and it still surprises me that my intent and actions, and quite possibly it is the same for everybody at different times, are still so misunderstood. V2T excluded. I am occasionally accused of forgetting to do things and deliberately ignoring other things and some even ascribe my actions to certain motives when no such motive was ever present. It causes me some disappointment, but my “Bandwidth” which is a term I have heard that I like recently, can’t cope with all that I am focussing on, and as such some of the peripheral gets omitted. It is a fine line I walk, perhaps we all do, and still there may be many who cope with and do much better than I, but I do the very best I can. When I do something I give my all. I spent much of my adolescence in shades of mediocrity and indifference; I do not do that anymore. If I don’t want to do anything I won’t. If I choose to do something I choose to give my very best. Sometimes that best falls short, hindsight can be a bugger at times, but I do not resile from the fact that I strive to be true to the person I am, and to the person I wish to become.
The pictures above were all taken by me earlier in the Philippines in April 2007
