This is the cover for 2008's Down Syndrome calendar that I am working on this long weekend. This is the eighth calendar I have compiled and I must say it is an absloute pleasure and joy I have to share and do annually. I get around 100-200 pictures every year from parents, grand parents and friends who want to share pictures of people in their lives with Down Syndrome. Then I compile them and combine the calendar and do the graphics. All up it takes about 40-50 hours I do over a few days or in the current case, weeks. When I first started doing the calendars I was so vocal about supporting this venture as a way of raising funds for Down Syndrome NSW, but more importantly it could, and has indeed become a vehicle to assist community awareness of people with Down Syndrome and portray these wonderful people in a way that highlights the fact that they are intrinsic members of society. When you see all the images contained within the 30 odd pages, you can't help but get a sense of appreciation and joy of the people and the diversity of activity they are involved with. The great joy for me is seeing these faces grow each and every year. I occassionaly meet some of the people throughout the course of a year and I am warmed by their presence. I have had a few people even say to me how much they appreciate the calendar. Some parents and loved ones even write me letters expressing their joy at receiving the calendars. There are few things in my life that bring me such joy and warmth as doing this for people I only know largely by their pictures, but yet have an attachment and affinity for.
I am amazed at the ceaseless work that Down Syndrome NSW do for people. The organisation was started by a group of parents who saw a need to come together and form a body that could lobby for basic rights and understanding for people of all ages with Down Syndrome ( I am simplifying here for the purpose of explanation). The Calendars go all over this country and a few even make it overseas. Universally, people love the calendars. there are a couple of people in far west NSW who order, sell and give away 250 calendars each! it is an incredibly humbling thing to have anything I create be so appreciated by so many. I just thought I would share the cover with you. If any may wish to order a calendar or make a donation - NOT that I am soliciting for any, do not contact me at all, just copy and paste the link below in your browser and contact DS NSW on the order form from the link.
http://www.dsansw.org.au/index.php?pg=109
It is a beautiful day today, I am grateful to be alive. Even with all the joy, pain, accomplishment and hope that each day holds in various measures for me.
Out the gate - it's almost 2008
Looking through the lens
There are occasions in my life when I feel that I am living on a different plane to those around me. Not that in anyway I feel I am better or worse than others, there are just times when I feel and seem to live differently in the way I think and act. I would like to think that I have overcome the need to compare myself to others, realising fully that there will always be people who are greater and lesser than I. Greater and lesser in terms of finances, abilities, perhaps even camera equipment and experience. That said, I am happy for the person I am, I am happy for the talents and abilities I am blessed with, and happy for the experiences I have been a part of, I would love my finances to be better, but who wouldn't, though overall, I am happy with my life. I don't wish to be anyone else, I am happy just being me, warts and all.
I wrote a response to a post made by a visitor to this blog, that I am blessed and cursed with an ability to care for my fellow beings and was asked to share how that can be a curse. For me, I have a genuine care about people generally. I also feel and believe that the courtesy and respect I extend to others is deserved by me in return. THAT is where it can be a curse for me. I am often disappointed when people fail to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings on things I have done for them. Permit me to explain.
In my photography I don't do this just as a job, I put my whole heart and soul into what I do. I need to know that I have given the images my all. Each and every time I pick up my camera I do so with the view that ALL my combined experience and ability to see into the world, people or situations will silently come to the fore and allow me to look at a situation differently and create images of insight, flair and beauty. I constantly challenge myself, and am often thinking at the very moment I take pictures, how would this look if I was here, or there, or up high or down low. I am trying to give you an insight into the inner workings of what is going on with me when I photographically shoot.
Now, I am often disappointed because many people don't ever say thank you. It is becoming a forgotten term it would seem. Perhaps the error is not with those who do not say thanks, the fault may well be mine. Perhaps me expecting a thank you or a shred of acknowledgement is the fault or real curse I face. I have examined myself and wondered is it that I am like a pet that needs to be stroked occasionally to feel my self worth? You can draw your own conclusions, but I do not believe that to be the case. What many people fail to realise, or even care about, is that when I create photographs or graphics for calendars, CD's, portraits or whatever, there is a very tangible part of me within my work. There is a metaphorical umbilical chord that connects me to it, and to have my passion be shared with some people and treated with varying degrees of indifference saddens me somewhat. That said, there are many people who love what I do, and I am very grateful for that. I am constantly surprised when people I have known for a long time seem amazed at my work - it is a nice thing to watch and be a part of. Photography has allowed me to be creative and to express myself in a way that truly satisfies me, irrespective of what others think or feel. It is just a sweeter experience when others enjoy it also.
Denzels da man!
I read once that the foolishness of people to judge others is as ridiculous as judging the strength of an oceans wave by the frailty of the foam it can generate. The same would apply to all of us at different times I suspect. I have a tendency to look and judge people by what I see, hear and feel. But occasionally, I am reminded that there is always more to people than what may appear. Just like the words in a passenger side mirror of a car, I have certainly found that with Denzel, my son who has Down Syndrome objects or people's skills and abilities may be closer (or much greater) than they appear. 
The tendency of some is to dismiss him and put him into a basket that says "handicapped" or worse still be in a room where people talk above him, around or through him without talking with him. I have slowly learned to appreciate that the short sightedness of people including myself at times is temporary, and I like that I am sometimes challenged to look deeper. I am becoming less harsh in my assessment of short sighted people, I am striving to find a way that makes a more positive contribution to their understanding, which will live beyond the moment and have an impact for the rest of their lives.
One man I know asked me one time if I would be offended if his children got to play with Denzel on the odd occasion, with the view that they might get to understand, appreciate and respect people with differences. I was humbled at how much he wanted his young children to be positive contributors to the society they will be growing into. My answer of course was yes. I am grateful for my son, who teaches me humility, patience, respect and real love - perhaps more than I ever imagined I could come to know.
Missing my friend
I have been thinking of Richard now for some time. I miss him. He was a dear friend who used to call me every day and see how I was, he would encourage me to seek for the highest within me. He had high hopes and aspirations and the world literally before him. He started a business, got married and was doing well, though through the veneer of happiness fissures started to occur. Someone offered Richard some drugs to help take the edge off his anxiety, and he became a frequent user. The tragedy of Richard isn't that he took his own life, it is that a bright flame of life and energy was allowed to be extinguished. He believed in me. He said, looking at my photography one day, Craig the only reason someone won't book you is if they don't know about you, or if they cannot afford you! I don't know why I miss Richard particularly of late, or whether I just wish he was still here, and I do.
I wrote a poem for him which I shared with his Mum Gloria who passed away a couple of years after Richard. I suspect partly because she yearned for him. I love them and miss them. The poem I wrote is below.
My Friend
I wish I could have taken
all your pain away
and somehow given back to you
the joy you brought to me each day
there is never a day that passes
that I don't recall your name
or the friendship, or the memories
that are still precious, all the same
I wish you were still here with us
though you've moved way out of sight
But I'm glad I got to know you
and be blessed by your bright light
As I ponder where you are right now
and the company you now share
I seem to draw great comfort
from knowing you're in God's care
Thank you Richard.....
Chrysalis
The man pictured with me above is a man I have come to know this year and a person I now count as a warm and dear friend, Jim Paredes conducts courses in different parts of the world called TCU - Tapping the Creative Universe. I have not yet participated in one of his courses, but have loved the title of them nonetheless since I first heard about them. I have pondered much on courses of late and the concept of self-improvement. I have been involved in many courses both work related and personal that are designed to allow you / me or us to reach within and become the person we only dream of becoming.
I marvel at people like Anthony Robbins who has identified a niche human need and exploits it. I believe that the strength of Anthony Robbins lies in the fact that he doesn't so much teach us anything new, but creatively gets you to think about what you already know in a different way. A skilful ability I submit. I was also involved in a course once called the Landmark forum. Introduced to it from a friend that ostensibly said, there's this course I would like you to do, though I know you don't really need it! But I think it will enhance what you already have. I went to the course with aroused curiosity. It was then $500 and went for 3 full days. From 9am till almost midnight on each of the 3 days. It was an intense confrontation into self-evaluation and in trying to understand the things, people, objects that prevent us from being our true selves. The room had 250 people and in those three days allowed us all to feel "safe" to say whatever we felt or to act or be whatever we wanted. In a very real sense we became a family of sorts for those three days.
For me, the strength of the course was encapsulated within two single moments that lasted just a few minutes each. Firstly we were shown a white wall, and told that no matter what has happened in your life, no matter who has upset you, no matter what event, people or place has caused you to have anger, regret, feelings of hurt or shame, doubt or whatever, - this is now your life. Paint this wall from this moment on to reflect the beauty, the wonder and happiness you want from this point on. WOW, for me that was a powerful moment. I had issues about being adopted, I had issues about my Dad dying when I was 14 and leaving us to be raised by a widowed pensioner, I had issues about lots of things, but saw the wisdom and the powerful realisation that I could leave all the reasons behind and now live. Live without limits, other than those I imposed on myself, live without fear, and live without blame or regret and I am endeavouring to do just that. My canvas is taking shape. I admit that I am a late bloomer, but the point for me is that I am blooming at all, irrespective of timing. Life is for living to the fullest I can. After all I am not in competition with anyone.
The second and last aspect of the Landmark forum I learned was an exercise they leave til the very last moment when after the 3 days of intense self discovery, a person is selected from the group and shown two metaphorical ice creams one chocolate, one vanilla and asked: Chocolate, Vanilla, choose! The strength of this exercise lies within the response. I am sorry if I ruin this for others but in expressing this, it is a salient point to share something that allowed me to grow. Whatever you choose, it needs not be justified or explained. The strength of your answer is in saying I choose.... whatever, because that is what I choose. Not, I choose whatever because I like ....chocolate and then seeking to justify why you like chocolate or vanilla or whatever.
Live powerfully, set your own benchmarks, set your goals, and become the person you most want to be. I am on a journey to find my dreams and realise my potential, I am slowly getting there. I see the chrysalis within me, and I will work, fight and struggle to allow that metamorphosis to occur for me. Thank you to all my friends and family and photographic clients who help me to realise my potential and live out the true meaning of what I want my life to be. I am whole today.
War of the Worlds!
Last night I had the opportunity to go and see Jeff Wayne’s Musical stage production of War of the Worlds with some dear friends. It was an interesting journey back in time for me. Since 1978 when the music was released, it has sold 15 million albums and travelled around the globe many times over. The feeling of the performance was mixed and there were certainly some parts I enjoyed more than others, though I liked the experience overall especially with the 10-piece Black Smoke Band and 40-piece String Orchestra. I particularly marvelled at the age we live in which allows us to have the beautiful voice of Richard Burton still here and to have his character coupled with digital technology and appearing as a sort of hologram narrative throughout the performance was interesting. I wonder where we go from here. What will the future electronics and gadgetry have in store for us?
I was even fortunate enough to get to meet the creator, Jeff Wayne together with the Moody Blues’ Justin Hayward, Shannon Noll, Rachael Beck, Manfred Mann Earth Band’s Chris Thompson and a classy, well seasoned bass player Herbie Flowers. Herbie is one of the most celebrated session musician’s of all time, having worked for and with David Bowie, T-Rex, Sky, Lou Reed, Blue Mink, and David Essex just to name a few. Pictures below. 
Shannon, Me and Rachael
Tristan, Me, Jeff Wayne & Peter
Herbie Flowers & I
Justin Hayward & I
Introspection is not a dirty word!
“A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest” A line from a Simon & Garfunkel song has been circling in the “windmills of my mind” for a few days now. Along with this I have reflected on different people who on occasion have asked me, what do you think of this? Or how do I look in this dress? To illustrate the point, a friend of mine was travelling in the personal jet of a well known music celebrity and was asked by him, who had written a children’s book, what do you think of this? My friend who has written some 15 books to date, said Craig, what do I say to a man inside his plane at 35,000 feet when the book is crap? It leads me to wonder whether we want to hear, what we want to hear, or whether we really want to know what another thinks? And whether we will disregard the rest if it isn’t palatable.
I know one or two people who will always ask questions and never really want to hear the answer, for while I am answering their question, you can see they are hastily preparing other questions. I have slowly started to learn that giving them an answer with a question causes them to stop and think. I would like to believe that is one of the best things that happens to me in my life, when I am coasting along and thinking on one track, out of left field comes a point where I am caused to reflect more deeply about where I am, and the possible results of my actions. I was censured the other day for being slow to say something in a situation, and whilst the criticism was valid, I have noted with some curiosity that I have become much more introspective of late, and I have become aware that others may misinterpret my silence as disdain or indifference. What to do?
I have been blessed or cursed with an ability to see beyond the present, I have a real sense that I am often surrounded by my ancestors who must look down from their ascendant vantage upon me with mixed feelings of pride and disdain for the actions which I do that all too often remind me of my many imperfections. It’s not that I am beating myself up; it’s just that I aspire to a measure of greatness that transcends any plane to be better than anyone else or in a cheap manner be compared to anyone else. I want to be better today than I was yesterday. That said I am beset so often by my foibles. My introspection has become a dear friend that helps me make sense of the world, of situations and of the consequences of my actions. Does that mean I am getting older and wiser? Older perhaps, but wiser would be a question better answered by you! I love having the opportunity to express myself through this blog. Even if no one reads it.
Orchestral manouevers in the light!
I sat in the Conservatorium of Music in Sydney yesterday, there to photograph the Spring Season concert for a family whose child was performing. I was in awe at the skill and sound that radiates from those students whose ages range from just 6 years old up. I love the purity and quality of sound that emanates from around 60-70 instruments that blend so eloquently. I noted with some degree of interest the single violin one of the students played at the beginning so that all the other instruments and their musicians could set their tone, tune or pitch by. What a wonderful thing. One lone instrument setting the entire tone for the rest. I marvelled at the sound one violin makes, and then when 20 make the same sound by playing together, it is one of the purest and most beautiful sounds I have ever heard. The Timpani, the Cymbals, the Harp, the Bassoon, the Oboe, the Flute, the Viola, the French Horn, the Tuba....and the rest, it is all magnificent Together they make a sound and convey a feeling that individually would not be possible to achieve.
With that in mind, I think of us sometimes as individuals whom occasionally get lost in the misdirected thoughts that allow us to feel we are in control of our own lives or situations, However, no matter how good, or how in-control of our own lives we might believe we are, individually we are not as melodic, sweet or harmonious as when we allow others lives and influences to subtly blend with ours. It is true that No man is an island, yet in this world of technology and excess, well certainly for those in the west at least, we are constantly being herded into corrals of loneliness and isolation. The Biggest Loser, Survivor, the Money or the Mob, the Mole, Big Brother, Idol and many other television programs are all designed to eliminate contenders and arrive at the "best". Almost as if we are telling society that in order for you to succeed, with money as the outcome, it is not only permissible, but admirable to get that money at whatever cost to another that may cause. I understand the importance of setting benchmarks, and having levels of attainment and ways to gauge the levels of success and standards by, though I accept my ideas of getting ahead by helping others get what they want, and getting on the shoulders of giants only to be there to help them up as well, is rapidly become an outdated notion. Not that the thought will stop me at all. I have a genuine care about people, I am interested in what makes us tick.
Lastly, I note that this morning as I walked around a mental health facility for their open day, amidst the beauty of the various cherry blossoms and fete like atmosphere, I watched with pleasant and respectful curiosity at some of the patients of the facility with varying degrees of challenges, I loved how they navigated their way around their world, and I looked at my son whom I was with who has Down Syndrome, How very grateful I am to God for allowing me to see people whom I might otherwise be too busy to recognise. I saw within them all in the context of the Tuba, I spoke of earlier, by itself which seems a little oafish and uninspiring, but when played together with the orchestra, or when these special people are together the total acceptance of one another’s differences with no system of ranking or discrimination had a very real orchestral beauty of equally special harmony, making a sound for those who wish to see and hear, is simply pure and unadulterated pleasure.
I love my life today. I am very tired from yesterday still but very glad to have the gift of seeing.
BEGIN IT!
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin It! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." Goethe
This quote is above my desk in my little office and I see it every day. It encourages me to continue to see things differently and to continue to strive to be better and achieve the dreams I and perhaps all of us have. I often look around me at the people I see and am surprised that the very things we want and desire most in life often already exist within us.
One of my special friends said just the other day I don't know where to start. That thought alone is at the tip of our combined tongues at times, just as I admired Nanette's determination to begin it, the action of beginning to make the calls, and follow the desire within by creating opportunities without, is where the essence for the title of my blog comes from.
Whilst the Light Fantastic is synonymous with dancing, I also feel it is a space whether in the mind or at different points of the day or in our lives when we can truly be as Alex Lloyd sung about...AMAZING. We are amazing when we put our minds to do it. In my own life I have overcome obstacles that seemed insurmountable only to find that when you get lost in the process of actually "doing" you quickly find that you have already done!
Similarly, We often see what we haven't got, what we lack, and almost find reasons to justify not seeing what we do have and what we enjoy. I once heard a guy at a wedding I photographed say, "Things will be better when I can get that new car". My life will be better when? I thought on this for some time. Personally on that day I made the determination that I would say my life is better NOW. I guess for others who know me, they might think I am full of it ?!#!, however, I would rather choose to be happy now. I don't have many of the things I aspire to have, but the one thing I can control and have anytime I need it in life is to be happy, right here and right now!
