I saw this article online and wanted to share it. Today is has spoken to me and I am grateful. I need to follow the warm and important encouragement to claim what I am searching for.
Thank you Dr. Phil
I think one of the biggest reasons people are ineffective or unsuccessful is that they never clearly declare what they want. It sounds so simple, but ask yourself, "Do I know what is most important to me?" You've got to have a goal in mind, or you will never have the opportunity to claim it. Once you have an idea of your true priorities, you can catch yourself before you do anything that doesn't move you toward that target. And that's a key word here—target. If you don't have one, then you're like an unguided missile, and who knows where you're going to land.
Many people confuse activity with productivity. They may be busy, but they're not making measurable progress. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months turn into years, and years turn into a lifetime. If you sat them down and said, "Tell me what success is for you," they wouldn't be able to answer—or they might say something like, "I want to be happy." My dog wants to be happy, too, but what the heck does that really mean? Your task is to define what "happy" means to you, and you need to be specific.
Say you're offered a great job. If it doesn't give you what you're looking for in a career, then it's not the right move for you, no matter how good it looks on a résumé. Or think about a relationship: If everything seems 100 percent perfect but isn't going to fulfill your deepest needs, then it's a waste of time. When I began dating my wife, Robin, her priorities were very well defined: She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that she was put on this earth to be a mother—and she made sure I knew it, too. I still remember the time she told me, "That's who I want to be and what I want to do." I could have been the most dashing guy in the world, but if I hadn't wanted to have children, she was not going to spend another minute by my side. Robin is a woman who knows what she wants, and obviously I'm proud of her. (I'm also very much the beneficiary of her clear-cut goals, because we've got two sons and two grandchildren whom I adore.)
Another danger is mistaking what you want, which could lead you to spend your life chasing the wrong thing. Maybe you think you want to be rich, but when the dough starts coming in, you're left feeling empty because you haven't made the world a better place. Or you're sure it's fame you're after, so you head to Hollywood, but then find that you're lonely because you don't have the right companion. So it behooves you to do the hard work ahead of time by asking yourself, "Exactly why is this important to me, and what will my life be like once I have it?" You've got to drill down a couple of layers to get to the real truth.
I think this is an important exercise even if your life is going along just great—and it becomes more necessary when things are tough. Having an end in sight can pull you through the most challenging times. It reminds me of General George S. Patton's speech to the Third Army in 1944, when he was reported to have said: "There is one great thing that you men will be able to say when this war is over and you are home once again. You may be thankful that 20 years from now, when you are sitting by the fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did in the great World War II, you won't have to cough, shift him to the other knee, and say, 'Well, your granddaddy shoveled shit in Louisiana.' No, sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say, 'Son, your granddaddy rode with the great Third Army...." You may not be fighting a battle, but at every step of your life's journey, you will have decisions to make. How can you make the right ones if you haven't prioritized your goals?
The most you will ever get is what you ask for—so be bold enough to reach for what's truly important to you. You deserve more, and you can have more, but first you have to name it to claim it.
Dr. Phillip C. McGraw's daily talk show is in its 12th season. He has written seven best-selling books; his latest is Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World (Bird Street).
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Friday, July 18, 2014
I have had the opportunity twice now of meeting megastar, dancer, singer, actor, author and all round nice guy Mr. Ricky Martin.
I must say that on each occasion I walk away with an enormous amount of admiration and respect for this wonderful person who genuinely cares and loves the people who love his music and are touched by his life and life-force.
I was photographing him meeting and greeting his fans in a major shopping centre this evening. I stood in the one spot on stage whilst he laughed with, shook the hands of, embraced, and spoke with each of the 750 fans that had come to meet him, which doesn't take in to account the 2000 other people that couldn't get to meet him that stayed for the 3 hours he was on stage. I was numb and sore after the exchange and he was so resilient. You could tell he was tiring, but he never showed it. He glanced at me a couple of times and just smiled in a way that suggested he was happy but tired.
There were so many different people, some who were so lovely and wonderful and a couple of people that kinda made you think twice. But all in all he was warm and genuine with EVERY person he spoke with.
He took that extra time with people notwithstanding the assistants and friends who by necessity of time were hurrying the people through.
I am a fan of this beautiful souled man. As an observer, it was as though he was a messiah like person as people were just trying to touch him and I ponder about the appeal, allure and nature of what celebrities seem to have. I want none of it I have determined. It is REALLY hard work. But then I am no stranger to hard work. I am still working on the pictures I took so that they can all be uploaded for the many fans who are eager to see images of their hero.
The assignment finished at 8:30pm and by the time I got home and started going through the 1700 pictures I took and am looking at it it's now 3:43am and I am tiring. I went through the Raw images to ensure the colour balance and levels were the best they can be.
There are now less than a hundred left that are processing, then I have to create an action in photoshop to reduce the size and put the watermark the client wanted on each picture and then I am off to sleep!!!! and then get up and have them delivered by 9am back to the client! It is another big day tomorrow and I am already looking forward to sleep on Friday night.
I would love to photograph a Ricky Martin album cover art or create some new images for a tour, but I cannot even imagine how to make that happen.
But in case Ricky ever reads my humble post, please know that I am grateful for you and people like you who continue to live your dreams. It gives oxygen and airflow for others to do the same.
Good night or should that be good morning world....
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Friday, July 18, 2014
Having a son with Down Syndrome this video is so refreshing and wonderful. My son is not as interactive as Tim, and I am almost convinced that if it was Denzel's place most of the food would be eaten by the owner! But I love him all the more. I loved this video as well and was keen to share it!.
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Thursday, July 17, 2014
This is a wonderful song, and the message is totally beautiful and refreshing. As a photographer I often see beauty and wonder in peoples faces and yet often what I see has to be hidden beneath makeup, hair and nails. Many are the times when people say to me "lets postpone photos until I am skinnier, healthier, prettier, happier" and each time I hear these comments or lots like them a little part of me is genuinely sadder for the lost opportunities and moments. I think there is so much wonder, joy and happiness to be had right where we are, and as this clip shows, right AS we are.
I have been pondering much this week when a football commentator was speaking about the NSW / QLD (Australian States) Rugby League clash of titans in the State of Origin, where the best of the best of all the players that play league are chosen and represent the states where they got their start from. It is the closest thing I know in Australia to a gladatorial type battle. The commentator made this observation which I believe really struck a chord with me, and that was that a game is not lauded for the game itself, a real game is made up of singular moments, moments that can change the outcome or will be the moments to be remembered.
Life is a lot like that, a series of moments good or bad.
Life is such a tenuous measure of time and the moments are all too fleeting. One of my treasured photographs was taken on a polaroid as a 14 year old a couple of days after my father had died, I was walking past a photo shop called Elton Ward after school and a salesperson came up to me and said want a photo and snapped away. He gave me the picture and to this day, hair was everywhere, dirt on my neck, not smiling....but it forever remains for me a moment when I remembered where I was, how I felt and for that it is precious.
Enjoy the song...it is wonderful. I hope I get the chance to meet and photograph Colbie Caillat one day. I would love that.
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Saturday, July 12, 2014
These are a collection of television commercials for Ameriquest US. I like the suggestion of impropriety and the reality juxtaposed together. It is a sobering reminder for me that life or situations I sometimes see, may not always be in actuality the way I see it.
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Sunday, June 15, 2014
I read this short post online and was touched by it. I think it was valid for me to read having lost some friends and family recently, it is a sobering reminder to live without regret. The short article was written by Nurse Bronnie Ware who said;
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.
I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Saturday, June 14, 2014
I was looking at something on the internet and stumbled upon these album covers and band pictures. I was laughing at some, confused at others and disgusted by a few more but here are a few that I found particularly curious that I felt would be good to share. I imagine there are copies of these albums and band shots in cupboards and wall units around the world, lying unused in the back of many a record collection...thankfully not mine. Some of them defy my understanding! Hope you Enjoy!
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Saturday, June 14, 2014
Well after a rather interesting period of time, the artwork I have completed this afternoon for Jeans for Genes to be auctioned off in August are the jeans worn and hand signed by none other than Hugh M Hefner. Synonymous with Playboy and associated paraphernalia. He is now 88 years old I believe, and is an icon of the 20th century.
A hand signed photo of him has sold recently for a rather large sum, so I wonder how much his jeans will fetch! With all the proceeds raised going to the Children's Medical Research Institute (CMRI) I am happy to continue with my art in anyway I can to help this great cause into early childhood disease understanding and prevention. I say this in no way to boast, but that I am so happy to have helped raise almost $60k for the CMRI with the several paintings I have done for them.
I also feel to say that whilst I love art, and the process of being creative, I look like I am painting by numbers compared to soooo many artists I know and have been honoured in a small way to work with, whose work is breathtaking. I am neither a subscriber too, nor a reader or viewer of Hugh's PLAYBOY or any other associated magazines, but I have loved the process of creating this one off art piece.
Posted by Craig Peihopa at Thursday, June 12, 2014